Rush to Date

I never realize how oblivious I am to hints. Ever since I turned eighteen which was a month ago, my mom has been bugging about my appearance and suggesting how I should look nice also I should wear make up. I do wear cosmetic however I use very minimal to appearing as if I am not wearing any make up at all. I just prefer looking a bit au naturel, to be honest.

So how does this relate to dating in any possible way? Well, I've been getting my eyebrows plucked out lately and receiving this serve from my mom's friend Rosie. One day while looking at my face she said to me that I need clean my face more often now that I am an adult. Another hint I've been picking up is since as of late my mom wants me to wear super nice clothes which I did due a $200 allowance and a distribution center for clothing were selling leftover clothes. Prior to last month my mom hardly even suggested to look super nice. She had told me in the past to not look like a hobo because I am a person who enjoys just simply wearing a tee and pants. Lastly my mom has been telling me a lot to lose weight which I should. Now you ask, how does this relate to dating? Well let me get the pieces for you to see how this comes together.

In the Church of Jesus of Latter Days, there's an organization for teenage girls called Young Women. In order for enter the Young Women, the girl must be between the ages of twelve to seventeen. This year is my last year in the Young Women organization since I started when I was twelve years old, which was six years ago.

Holy smokes, Batman! SIX YEARS ago. Unbelievable, at least to me that is.

Two weeks ago, this hit me right at my FACE. When I was in the Young Women, I was excited to leave and do practically nothing and I had this thought since I was twelve. Now graduated from the organization, I have this small regret of feeling this way. I didn't absorb my time in the YW and took into consideration that I won't have this experience again. Two weeks ago, I was approached by the second counselor in my branch. On Wednesdays, people of my branch go to church and do activities or classes. He was looking for me to go to a YSA meeting in our branch.

While at the meeting, it was just me, Suzette(a girl who I knew since I was a little girl) and Erika(knew her since I was little too). There's only guy whose a Young Adult but already has a girlfriend, probably won't participate in any Young Single Adult activities and he'd too busy with work and school.

Anyway, I felt like a fish out of water because I was in an ADULT meeting. I don't feel like an adult, I feel like seventeen year old Ashley. Though the meeting was alright, I guess that would be the most appropriate word to chose.

Today, my branch held a Christmas party which was boring to be honest. Because 1). No Santa, 2). No gifts for the children, 3). Felt like every church party that I ever been to except the Youth related activities, and lately 4). No Christmas aura or feeling to the party which lack from last year.

While sitting on a couch next to my sister and a guy Anthony(a year younger than me) and sitting on the floor while Arleth(same age) and Diana(she's thirteen and sister to Arleth). We were talking about random subjects until a guy who came back from his mission not that long ago asked us a few questions. He asked basic questions like who's eighteen and older in your branch, are going to any YSA activities (obviously to me and Artleth). It was awkward because what questions were about and we didn't know this guy very well, well most of us did but didn't knew him personally.

At one point in our conversation, me and Arleth given him our numbers for any upcoming YSA activities. Oddly enough since I didn't mention this earlier, Arleth went to a YSA dance and told us about older men at the dance which is weird. And she had to go on a "date" with a twenty-six year old man, and please note she is eighteen years old.

This is where the pieces lay, now I have date because of YSA and conforming to society. I have never been kissed or dated in my life which makes me an oddball because nowadays people my age already have more experience than me.

Well I update anything new. Also I will posting up another entry about the guys I have/had a crush on from my church.

'Til than!

Men, boys

Men, boys these words I use interchangeably from time to time. I did promise to talk about the guys that I had a crush on but I didn't specified from childhood or to adolescent. So I come to decide that I will talk about the ones in my adolescent years because I am still a teenager and I can talk more elaborately, I guess. So here we go!

Guillermo (Gizzmo):

You know in sitcoms of white middle class where in a school setting there's always or sometimes the Preacher's daughter or the Pastor's son. This is almost similar but except in a Mormon way. He was the Bishop's grandson. We were in primary school but he's six years older than I was. My mom has a video cassette of the children in the primary school, it showed him doing a testimony and I was an infant in the infant playroom I guess. Anyways, he moved to a small town near Brownsville, Texas. He came back to California in 2009 around June. The funny thing about this, well it's really funny but he was my seminary teacher. When I laid my eyes on him, I felt head over heels.

Now to many, he may not have that much physical characteristics that most women want in a man but nonetheless he's attractive. He's around five three (yes that short and this is a common height in his family), brown skin, and brown eyes. Well I can't really describe how he looks like in person. However prior to him, I wasn't attract to Hispanic men particularly Mexicans (yes he is Mexican American). Since then, I am attracted to Mexicans who are mestizos and maintain a healthy lifestyle, why is that? I don't know. Here's an old entry I made on LiveJournal about Memo and this was a year ago:

Warning: Sounds like a fangirl, I apologize for that since I'm not usually atrract to people that I have strong feelings for.

Now I've been having a lot crushes on particular guys, I must say I think I just find them very, very attractive to me either in eccentric and unusual ways. Memo is a 23 year old guy, who goes the church I go to. Though I don't have feelings for him that much, I just find him very physically attractive to me. He is musician and he teaches a class that I go to. I did just to know him however just by eavesdropping on his conversations. For him, a relationship that last for him is arguing with each other. He dated a girl and they never argued but the relationship ended pretty quickly. He is a movie lover, and he recites quotes from movies that he watches. He thoughts on politics and other things are very immature, more emotion rather than researching and understanding both sides of perspective.

Please note I have written this on December 31, 2010. Since writing that I opened my eyes and saw a douchebag who happens to be attractive to me, sadly. I would write more about him but I would rather devote a whole post to him than writing a bunch of paragraphs of a post about two people. Two people in a post? Yes two. First was Memo who I developed feelings for since I was fifteen and the other guy is William(or Wilhelmina to me).

William:
For most of my teenage years since I was eleven, I had a crush on William. He's a pale Salvadorean guy that now he's going to his mission in January. Again it was physical attractive for these two men. He's also a douchebag but passable since he is the same age as me and he can change. One of the reasons I consider him a douchebag is this:



That's plenty more evidences I can use but it takes time to gather and put them together. Here's old entries from my LiveJournal about William and I'm sorry they're random but its hard to dig through all my old entries since I wrote so much during 2009 and before.

In one of my journal entry, I wrote that I have a crush on a guy William from my church.

OH. MY. GOODNESS. Unbelievable is the only expression or emotion that I am experiencing right now. But nonetheless it's funny to me and reflective to me because how I documented my feelings for William. And I want to end this post with a high note, this was made after couple of days I made that entry.

Quote #3: Aleichem, Sholom

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.

- Aleichem, Sholom

Quote #4: Oscar Wilde

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”

Oscar Wilde